What?! It's almost 2016!!

Wessy plane

New camera

tonight....

Just a quick note from tonight because I don't want to forget it.  When I got home from work around six, Wessy had just woken up from a nap.   He immediately ate and then pooped.  After I changed his diaper, he was fussy.  I could tell it was the 6:40pm-crashing-towards-bedtime-whiny-tired kind of fussy.  But I had to make dinner.  If I put him down, he would cry.  If I held him, no one would eat.  So I put him in the Ergo and lil Saucer Eyes watched me chop vegetables, wash pots and pans and throw together a soup.

 Slowly but surely, his lids got heavier and his oversized head thudded softly onto my chest.  He slept deeply until I tried to remove him so I could eat dinner.  Then he started crying, so I held him on my lap and tried to eat.  It quickly became clear that this wasn't going to work either, so I gave up and took him to the nursery to put him to bed.  Upon changing his diaper, Wessy decided that despite being desperately tired five minutes ago, he was now ready to party.

He cooed and laughed and blew raspberries.  We snuggled on the bed and I swung him around.  I finally calmed him down a little and put him in the swaddle and plopped him in the bassinet.  When I put him in the bassinet, my little burrito friend looked up at me, smiled a gummy smile, and blew me an extended raspberry.  I think what he was trying to say was, hey pretty lady, just try walking out of the room when I'm being cute like this.  I took the bait and blew a raspberry back.  He answered.  I did it again.  He again answered in kind. This went on for awhile and could have continued indefinitely had I not cut him off.  It blew my mind that we were having a little back-and-forth, and really, the sounds he was making were just plain cute.

I tiptoed out of the room and went to eat dinner.  He did not make a peep.  I guess he just drifted back to sleep, because when I went back in to check on him a half hour later, he was a fast-asleep little burrito with a smile on his face.

View South from Pacific Heights

Park Chow

This is the first restaurant Wessy ever ate at.  I took a pregnancy test on Sunday December 10, 2014 (LAST YEAR--I'M NOT PREGNANT) that turned positive.  On the Saturday before, Stevo, our friend Sara from UNC and I (and Wessy!) took a hike in the Marin Headlands.  It was a cool, misty day.  I remember that there was a lengthy trail run going on in the Headlands at the same time and the sweaty, muddy, victorious participants kept streaming past us towards the finish line.  Afterwards, we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge and had a late lunch at Park Chow.  I remember feeling very, very tired.  I chalked it up to the hike and crossfit earlier that day, but I couldn't help feeling a sneaking suspicion that something else was going on.  Well, you can see above what else was going on.  

A chubby, screechy, burpy, milky SOMEONE else was coming onto the scene.  And that is how it goes--one year you will be sitting at Park Chow not wanting to eat your tuna melt because you feel mildly nauseous and the next you will be putting little pieces of tuna from your tuna melt onto a baby's tongue so he can try a little bit and then spit it out onto his bib.  At least that is how my life goes.  Next year, God willing and the creek don't rise, we'll be wrangling an ambulatory Wessy and probably watching him massage his tuna melt into his hair or something.  Can't wait. (I CAN wait.) (I want Wessy to be mah babyee forever.)

Sunday morning

Firefly

San Francisco's hottest clubs: night out in Noe Valley

Being Cute instead of napping

Downtown San Francisco

Hamming it up with Daddy

Merry Christmas from the fam-o-lee

Five years

Five years ago (December 21, 2010) on this very beach I asked Olivia to marry me.  

Oh, what a difference five years makes!

Merry Christmas!

Last Christmas I had a little stowaway. He's grown up a bit you could say. What a year.

Wessy's first Christmas

We went to Grace Cathedral in San Francisco tonight for their Christmas Eve service. It was impressive--the scale, the architecture, the sheer number of celebrants gathered in the church. Wessy enjoyed it all from the comfort of the Ergo. Before the service started, I strolled with him around the cathedral looking at the art, some of which is quite famous. They have an exact replica of the Il Duomo doors. They have a series of paintings depicting the church's history, which is very intertwined with that of San Francisco itself. On that theme, there is an AIDS memorial chapel with an altarpiece by Keith Haring. Anyway, lil Saucer Eyes eagerly took it all in while also earning many admirers among the folks streaming in before the service.

I was able to hit the sweet spot with all the strolling and Wes was asleep before the service started. The service itself was lovely. The music was beautiful, the mood festive, and the people-watching excellent. My magical solid gold baby slept the whole time. He literally made one peep--right in the middle of the service he stirred, cried out once, and snuggled back into my chest. I really enjoyed hugging him close to me in the Ergo.

The Bishop of the California Episcopal church preached the sermon (gave the homily?). He had recently returned from representing the Episcopal Church at the Paris Climate talks and spoke of the gravity and meaning of the fact that literally the entire world had united in the agreement. Then we had more songs and then communion.

I got choked up when the choir sang "unto us a son is given." I know they were talking about Jeebus but I couldn't help but think of my son. Wessy was really just given to us--a magical combination of luck, providence, rainbows, pampers and I don't know what else. But a wonderful, out-of-the-blue gift from God nonetheless. The highlight of the night was when the Bishop blessed Wessy's head while I was taking communion. Like most important religious moments in Wessy's life, he slept through it.

Then the service was over and we walked out of the church into a chilly night. We enjoyed a little nightcap at the hotel while a now-awake Wessy was being adorable if a little screechy.

Post church happiness

Whatcha eating, daddy?

Mommy's loves

Mah rattle

Trying to open his Christmas present

Feet...

...it's what's for dinner

Baby, it's cold outside

New today...

-Hippo Face: Wessy has started opening his mouth wide in an expecting gesture while I am getting ready to feed him.  Today when I got home from work he and Geraldine were sitting at the window waiting for me.  As soon as I walked up to him, his face exploded with happiness.  Shortly thereafter, he started making Hippo Face.
-Chew toys: Wes has started to get very interested in putting things in his mouth.  Probably nothing will ever beat his own hands, but he does enjoy shoving toys into his mouth as well.  I got him this little silicone art-deco teether thingy that has arms that are supposed to be approximately the size and shape of baby fingers. ergo, babies love it.  Within seconds of giving it to Wessy, he was chewing enthusiastically on one of the "baby fingers."
-Hiking: See prior pics.  We love taking Wessy out on longer walks in the woods.  Now that his neck is strong enough to allow him to poke his head out of the ergo, he can swivel his fat little face around and take in the the scenery.
-First Christmas: Nine days away! We are planning a little get-away into the city.  Grandma Sylvia and Pops already sent Wes a present, which is waiting for him under our micro-tree.  Speaking of which, a certain baby really loves staring at Christmas lights.
-"Talking": Wessy has really progressed in his affinity for answering our questions (or statements) with statements of his own.  Today he was face timing with Aunt Rachel.  His face lit up when he saw her and he seemed mesmerized by her voice and her face (who isn't?).  He proceded to try to 1) grab the phone with both pudgy hands, 2) rub the phone on his face, 3) eat the phone, 4) have a "conversation" with Aunt Ray and Uncle Kevin during which time he cooed and shouted and screeched and hammed it up.  Until it all became too much and he started crying.

Hood Mountain hike

Whew

My long, hard month of medicine chiefing is over.  Thank you jeebus (And Stevo. And Geraldine.).  It was a haul.  Wessy was very patient with me.

What a difference four months makes...

This here is little larval Wessy.  I believe he was four days old here.  At this point he weighed 7lbs 1oz.  His little umbilical stump is still attached, evidence that not so long before this picture was taken he was hot-tubbing it in Mommy's amniotic fluid living the easy life of passive placental nutrition.  That was what he was used to, which is why he looks confused.  He was not used to having his eyes open and he certainly was not used to the harsh daylight after so many months in the mood lighting of his little cave.  His skin is fresh-baked pink and he doesn't know he has hands yet.  His janky little newborn pamper is actually too big.  This was our first Wessy.  We loved this Wessy.  We helped this helpless little lamb get used to eating, clothing, day and night time and the concept that people were people, not just muted voices.  

This is our Current Wessy. He is a round, lovey, slobbery, milky joy. He is four months and change in this picture.  He weighs 14lbs 10oz now.  More or less double what he was in the picture above.   This Wessy has adapted swimmingly to the ex utero life.  He is a breastfeeding fanatic, an assenting dolly for the clothes in which mama dresses him, and he has the circadian rhythm thing down cold.  His eyes are bright and open blue saucers.  He spends a great portion of his day Taking Things In.  He is filling out size 3 pampers now.  He certainly knows he has hands.  He additionally knows that he has a mouth.  In fact, he enjoys shoving as much as he can of his hands into his mouth.  He knows that Mommy is a person, not a hot tub with a heartbeat.  He even knows that Mommy has hands.  He enjoys grabbing my hand and shoving into his mouth.   He is grabby, burpy and smells like warm (sometimes sour) milk.  

We love him to pieces.  

Who knows what Wessies await us in the future.  Hopefully some cute ones.  

Four month check up

Wessy had his four month check up the other day.  It went well.  He is right on track in terms of his size and development. 

Still healthy and handsome! More shots...the same ones as last time.  He did fine, barely cried. Daddy mysteriously disappeared to the bathroom during the shots. This is a picture of Daddy handing Wes to me before he left.  "I don't want him to associate me with the shots."

Just a bro drinking a pint

(Of breastmilk)

New today

-My sweet, mellow guy: Wessy and I went to a birthday party tonight and despite all the people, the noise and the music, he calmly took it all in. He gamely let himself be passed around and fawned over, periodically flashing gummy grins until his lids got heavy and he snuggled back into my arms.
-Wessy snake: This is where I pull him by the ankles on his back around the carpet chanting "Wessy snake Wessy snake gooo Wessy snake." Loves it. Except when I suddenly and inadvertently cross some imperceptible line and he starts hating it.
-Solid gold baby: I'm a broken record here, but I really can't believe what a fantastic baby he is. He's been an A #1 infant since day one. Don't know what we did to be so lucky. Wessy, you're the single greatest baby that ever lived.
-Burfing: Wessy has taken to spitting up a little bit when he burps after meals. I've started putting bibs on him, otherwise his clothes will smell like sour milk at the end of the day.

My little buddy

Bath time with daddy

Well hello there . . .

New today

-Shouts and screams: Wessy is becoming ever so vocal. He will imitate us if we make high-pitched coos, and he will also spontaneously babble. I was in the other room today and heard him loudly singing a song to himself.
-Blowing raspberries: This has gotten out of control. He will do it any time, for any reason. He does it to get attention and also to indicate assent. He will first eject a mouthful of milk or saliva onto his lips. Then he will valsalva and make duck lips while forcing air out of his mouth to make little sputtering sounds. Whereas I can blow raspberries using only my lips, for Wessy it's a whole-body effort. It's as if he decided to make the cutest sound possible in the cutest way possible and then do it repeatedly. In case you were wondering, it definitely works to get our attention.
-Man hands: Wessy's delicate little piano hands have become fat little ham-paws. His fingers are little tapered sausages and the backs of his hands are domed.
-Standing up: Wes will stand up while holding my hands. He can actually do it for awhile. He particularly loves standing atop the changing table.
-Milk: Wes has mastered baby sign language for milk and he's not afraid to use it. He is far better at "milk" than he is at "more," or "Mommy" or "Daddy." He still doesn't understand exactly about the relationship between the signs and the results he's getting, but every day it seems like he's a little clearer on how it all works.
-Longer and leaner: Apart from his unswervingly fat face and paws, Wes seems to be stretching out a bit. He used to be kidney bean-shaped, but now he's baby-shaped. I am beginning to make out some knees on his legs.
-Wes accidentally picked his nose today.
-Mommy at work: Everyone's getting used to it, which is not to say that everyone likes it. The overwhelming way I feel about it is...tired. Just tired. Stupidly tired. And a lot of other things unfit for this family-oriented blog.

First solid food: pumpkin pie

Out for a hike

Eatin mah hand

Ready for winter

I want some turkey!!!

Sorry, buddy. You don't have teeth. How about some milk?

Pie time

Thanksgiving!

Daddy says...

Me (to Wes, in baby voice): "Who looks like milky, smells like milky and tastes like milky?"
Stevo (to me): "You do."

Guess who visited me at work today?

Straight chillin

New today...

-He is getting more vocal all the time. He can modulate his coos and is starting to make multisyllabic coos.
-He is just the best baby. Solid gold baby. Sometimes I'm surprised by his cry because I hear it so little. The converse of that is that when he does cry, it freaks me out, because I think that something must be seriously wrong.
-He is using and abusing the "more" sign in baby sign language to get essentially unlimited running mans, bounces and assisted jumps. He knows I can't resist. He will smirk and then emphatically smash his chubby hands together until he knows I'm getting his drift. I think he also understands the "milk" sign, though he doesn't use it yet.
-Naps: We have the best naps. Late afternoons, if I'm home, I let him fall asleep on my chest. Today I watched the setting sun bathe all the trees in the yard while he slept draped over my chest. And then I drifted off and we both woke up covered in urine. It was just the best, I'm not kidding. Don't care about the urine.
-He's busting out of his 3-6 month clothes. Sigh.
-I think he's looks skinnier since I went back to work. I'm not too worried, as we are working with a cushion here (pun intended) and he is continually getting better at bottle feeds, but it adds another layer of guilt and sadness to the pain I feel about being back at work.

We are never . . .

Mommy and Wes dancing to Taylor Swift

I love mommy

Missing my Buddy

Today I'm back at work in the hospital for the first time since two days before Wessy was born and I miss him! Not only because he is at home, but because he used to come see patients with me. Today I found myself instinctively putting my hand on my belly only to feel...just my squishier-than-before abs. No little kicks (though Wes really was never a kicker--more of an all-of-a-sudden position changer). No back pain or desperate need to sit down. No little buddy inside there.

Oh, the things we saw together! We saw life, and death, a lot of crying, some tense situations, and way too much vomiting. We saw an old man who came to after trying to kill himself and he was disappointed to still be in the world. We saw lotsa mommies crying with joy as they saw their babies for the first time. We saw cancer and heart trouble and unfortunately a lot of c. Diff. I often feared for your safety in there with all the flying germs and chemicals.

Wessy, I am so glad you came out healthy and perfect and I'm glad I don't have to worry about that anymore. But...

Sometimes, like today, mommy wishes you still came to work with her.

The boys

Hobbies...

-Kissing Wessy on the lips while he is sleeping in order to watch the way it makes his tiny mouth flutter and then sometimes pucker up.
-Laying my head next to Wessy's head on the Boppy and smelling his milk breath.
-Telling Wes he has "the busiest pampers in the business" when I'm changing his diaper and watching him squeal with delight. Or maybe it's pride.
-Dressing Wessy in all stripes, all the time. Unless he is dressed in dinosaurs.
-Cooing/squealing AI BUN-NEE (hi bunny) to Wes a million times a day.
-Asking Wes to hold things for me and then dropping them into his car seat.
-Asking Wes "why you so mad?" when he scrunches up his face and sticks his lip out.

Daddy's at work...

...so I enjoyed a night at home with my little boyfriend:)