New today...

-He reached out and petted Daddy's face multiple times, on purpose.
-He has started to willfully put things in his mouth (rather than licking/gumming things that incidentally come near his face). Today he put jangly elephant in his mouth. Not too long ago, all he could do was swipe vaguely at jangly elephant.
-First Halloween: He was a shark. A drowsy, gummy, squishy dreamy shark. The cutest little milk shark that ever was! We handed out candy on our stoop with Geraldine and then we walked around the insanity of the McDonald area. Afterwards he made a busy pamper and also a busy shark costume.
-Today I took him out for some no-diaper time while I mowed the lawn. I put him in his bassinet under the willow tree. I expected him to whine and squirm while I was mowing, but actually he laid there very contentedly, staring at the tree branches moving in the wind. My sweet, mellow guy.
-Bubba seems to be warming up to Wes ever so slightly. He has started to lick the baby more, which Wes seems to tolerate ok.
-Loves: when you make his little legs run, when you wave your arms in front of him (as I found out while doing a crocodile impression today), The Wheels on the Bus song (the more sound effects and gestures, the better)

But I thought sharks never slept?!

Eating Sophie

Jazz hands: En and Ex Utero

I love my bouncy chair

Somewhere over Colorado

Did you know?

It's a quiet dark night here and Wes is in his boppy pillow on the couch fighting sleep while the dishwasher sloshes and hums.  I just saw the outline of his face in the dark and his two bright little eyes are still open, though he is being still and looking drowsy.  Wes, I don't ever want to forget this night or any other night with you.  Just watching you try to go to sleep is a delight.  There are some other things I wanted you to know, too, Wes.  Did you know....

...that you and Mommy delivered 20 babies together while you were on the inside?  And Mommy saw about 100 other babies being born while she was pregnant with you?  Every time she saw a birth, she would think about her (and your) time coming and get choked up.  

...that Mommy delivered a baby boy the day she found out she was pregnant and saw the same baby back in clinic the day she went into labor?

...that Mommy and Daddy had a patient together that was very close to death and couldn't speak, but even so he was able to point at Mommy's belly and then at Daddy, with a joking, quizzical look on his face?  

...that Mommy considered chucking 11 years of post-secondary education just to stay home with you and stare at your face?  Not kidding.

...that when Mommy was pregnant Daddy used to put his face against her belly and she would say "Kick Daddy."  And sometimes you would do it!

...that one of Mommy's most difficult patients (whom she thought did not like her very much) was over-the-moon excited when she saw that Mommy was pregnant?

...AND OF COURSE,  THAT WE LOVE YOU.  SO MUCH.  

The Greatest Baby in the World

I've heard somewhere that after couples are together for a long time, if their relationship is good, they each become the best person in world for each other.  That is because even if they were not the most perfect match in the beginning, they have spent so much time together and learned so much about each other that they are better off with each other than anyone else.  I definitely already feel that way about Stevo; no one could tolerate my quirks better.  

But I ALSO feel that way about Wessy.  He is my perfect baby match.  He is not necessarily the best baby in the world (*except that he is*) but because he's my little guy, he's totally, completely perfect.   I submit as evidence: 

Huh?

What will you be?

Right now Wes is snoozing, sprawled out on our bed while Stevo is at work.  He's all chubby cheeks and fat arms and frog legs, making his little sighing noises.  Occasionally he silently scrunches his face, whinges momentarily, and then relaxes back into his former repose.  Right now, his job is being a baby and he's damn good at it. Frankly, it is okay with me if he keeps it up.  But I do sometimes wonder what he will be like as a toddler, a preschooler and..an adult? (That will never happen.  Until 20 years from now when hopefully it does.)  What will he say when his cute little coos turn into words?  Will he always be sweet and mellow?  

When you look at baby clothes, a lot of them are painted with the aspirations of their parents. "Daddy's little quarterback."  "Mommy's All-Star."  I intentionally avoided those clothes, not only because they are usually hideous, but because I don't want him to feel pushed towards anything in particular. I don't want him to be a doctor.  But I don't NOT want him to be a doctor.  I want him to be a loving, decent person.  He chooses the rest.  The last thing I want is for him to do something only because he is looking for our approval.  

I found particular resonance with this quote from this blog entry:"What I wish for them is that they be independent in adulthood and have sustaining relationships with family and friends.  The forms that could take are infinite.  So far, so good."

The lady had ten kids, so she has probably figured a few things out along the way.  Wes, know this: The ways we love you are infinite.  While I don't want any part of choosing your path in life, it's already been one of the most wonderful joys of my life just to see the very beginning of that path.  I can't wait to see what you become. (Except that I can. I can totally wait while you are being your chubby, sigh-y, sweet-smelling, lovey baby self. You keep on being yo baby self!!!).  Love you.  

I love..

-Your milk breath
-Your newfound coos and shrieks to express happiness when smiling and laughing isn't enough
-The way you hold your hands when you're asleep: palms down,fingers spread apart, as if presenting your fat little paws for a fancy manicure
-The way you smile when I rub Sophie the Giraffe against your gums
-The exaggerated grimaces you make when Daddy kisses you
-The way you arch your back and throw your hands behind your head in your sleep
-Your giant wobbly head
-Your sweet mellow spirit

Baby shark

"I'm only a dolphin, ma'am." 

Dunlop's Disease...

When your paunch dun lop over your pampers.

Daddy says...

"Wes is a special unicorn baby. There are rainbows coming out of his pampers."

I rolled over!

From front to back!

Welcome Geraldine!

Tummy time pro

My new friend Sophie

Check-up

Wes had his two (and a half) month well child check today. Doctor says he's looking healthy and handsome ("and I see a lot of babies")!

Are you my baby?

Yesterday Wessy and I took a long walk together around the neighborhood.  It was a glorious day, sunny, not too warm, and a little windy.  Being Sunday, it was peaceful around the neighborhood.  Bubba came along too.  Towards the end of the walk, I encountered a Little Free Library.  These are large, glorified birdhouse-looking structures that dot our neighborhood.  They are a place to exchange books.  The one adjacent to our house is heavy on self-help and pseudoscience themes, but there is one a few blocks away that tends to have more children's books.  That is where I found these classic volumes:

As soon as we got home, I read Are You My Mother? to an indifferent Wesley (Someday soon I think he will like it.).  In it, a little bird falls from a nest and then wanders around asking individuals of other species if they are his mother.  They all say no until he encounters his own mother, who of course welcomes him back home.  The baby bird has finally found the parent to which he truly belongs.  

Over these last eleven weeks of knowing Wes, I feel a similar (albeit inverse) process of finding the baby who belongs to us has occurred.  

When he was first born, it was as if a tiny blue-eyed alien had invaded our home.  He looked funny, he had very unusual eating and sleeping habits relative to our adult norms, and if he communicated at all it was through crying.  He was, of course, all we had dreamed of and his little face and tiny limbs melted our hearts from day one.  But there was still a sense of newness and, if I'm to be honest, some strangeness around the new creature.  

We had to learn how to feed him, learn how he slept, learn to bathe him and keep him safe (which is so daunting when talking about something delicate and floppy and mute that is the size of a house cat and also of immeasurable value).  No small amount of stress and anxiety was involved.  I like to think that we have weathered it well and enjoyed ourselves a bit along the way, but getting the hang of taking care of our little friend has involved moments of emotional intensity heretofore unknown.  

All of this, and for the first six weeks or so he maintained a poker face.  His needs were to eat and sleep and occasionally have his diaper changed.  But quickly, day by day, he is becoming more and more himself.  

He has started getting bored (hence the need for such things as Jangly Elephant, Acid Turtle and The Abdomination).  He has started smiling.  He has started laughing.  When he is unhappy, he doesn't just cry, he SCREAMS.  He bats at things with his chubby hands.  When he doesn't like something (a binky, for instance) he will push it away with the same chubby hands.  

He still adores his Vitamin D drops, and giving them to him precipitates a show of adorable lip-smacking.  He will resignedly shove his entire fist in his mouth when he is hungry but senses that food may not be immediately forthcoming.  When doing tummy time, he perches sturdily on his elbows and turns his head just a little herky-jerkily in a way that looks vaguely animatronic.  When starving and at the breast, he gets so frantically excited that his flailing limbs get in the way and he often ends up slurping on his forearms.  All that is to say, he is a little person.  

And it is becoming more and more clear to me that he is not just a baby whom we love and kiss and for whom we assure survival, he is OUR little person.  Maybe I am a little late to the party in starting to feel like he is not just my baby but also my son (His father has been telling people unsolicited since day one that Wes is HIS LITTLE BUDDY).  

Wes, I am so thrilled to watch you grow and change and become more of the person you will be everyday.  I can't wait to get to know you. 

And the best part is...I think he likes us too! 

Hitting the elephant

Wes has settled quite nicely into life in The Abomination.  One of the most wonderful creature comforts of this bouncy chair is the aftermarket addition of "Jangly Elephant" to the bar hanging over the seat.  Wes can entertain himself quite nicely by staring at Jangly Elephant, plotting his approach and eventually swatting at the stuffled creature.  Doing so produces the signature jangly sound as well as much wonderment.  

Grabby McGrabberson

Little dude has started to get really grabby.  I'm sure it will be annoying soon, but for now it's just very cute.  He clutches at blankets when you put them on his lap, he will hold onto a rattle, and my days of wearing necklaces are numbered.  When we wear the Ergo he will grab our shirts or our chest hair (depending on if it's me or Daddy carrying him).

New Today

-Sitting on my lap: Little dude has evolved enough head and truncal control to sit comfortably on my lap in a forward-facing position. It's very cute and snuggly but I miss being able to see his face.  Nevertheless, as his interest in the world increases, this seems to be a favorite position.

-New sounds: He has started vocalizing a little "oh" sound that indicates happiness and general agreement with the situation at hand.  Like if he is hungry and crying and I pick him up and start positioning him as if to nurse, he may make the "oh" sound. 

-New books: Today we went to a massive second-hand sale of baby goods.  We had no use for most of it, but I spent significant time in the book section.  I went overboard buying him a lot of books.  I've been remiss about doing lately, but I want to start reading to him more.  We are trying desperately to limit the number of plastic widgets he has in his possession, but I am okay with having almost infinite books on the shelf.  I want him to be able to go up to the shelf and feel like he can grab any book and always feel like there is more to read.  I also bought some more Spanish-language books in preparation for when Geraldine comes.

-Grabby: He has started not just reaching for things but grabbing them.  He grabbed a plastic bag today while we were changing his diaper and he has been grabbing my hair a lot.  Just a minute ago he grabbed my sleeve.  It seems like such a simple human movement but it is a sign of his emerging personality, a crude way for him to begin to communicate his wants and needs with us.  But in the course of the grabby-ness, it has become clear that he needs to go back to the baby nail salon ASAP.  

-Laughing: Laughing more loudly and predictably at: when you make "bicycles" with his legs, the motion of his Abomination, the dog and Acid Turtle.  

At the park

Post-bath

Is it a duck or a frog????

New today..,

-Drool: enough to soak the front of his onesie. Time to get out the bibs.
-Grasping the rattle: still doesn't shake it wildly but he will hold onto it for a while.
-Bird-like noises to indicate pleasure

Wesley's little friends from New Zealand, Frida & Thea

New today...

-First wedding: Wes attended my cousin Emily's wedding with us. It was a beautiful wedding and I cried. Unfortunately so did Wes. Luckily the atrium of the church had glass doors and speakers just outside the sanctuary that broadcasted the service so we didn't have to miss everything. Wes also got to meet many of his relatives for the first time: his Great Uncle Tom, Great Grand-Uncle Cal, Great Grand Aunt Marge, his Uncles Larry and Bill, his Aunts Robyn and Shug, and his cousins Emily, Mary, Katherine and Dawson. He charmed everyone, of course. Having Wes meet everyone made me feel he is not just ours but is situated in a lovely extended family tree. Having him meet his relatives also gave him a connection to his relatives that have passed away. He won't get to meet his maternal great grandparents and one of his cousins but he has met their siblings, and in that way, he has met part of them.
-Seeing Emily walk down the aisle was a trip. I first met her when she was younger than Wes is now, in Mt. Olive at Thanksgiving 1988, just a few short moments ago. Now she is a lovely young woman and is starting her own family. Time is a stupid son of a son of a bitch.

Meeting the Gages

Peeking over Daddy's shoulder

New today

-Man boobs: Or maybe I should say baby boobs...our little chubster is...well...chubby. 
-Audible laugh: previously he laughed, but silently. Today he had a wide-mouthed laugh accompanied by several impressive vocalizations. 
-First violent movie: We watched District 9. Wes breastfed through most of it; he did not even notice the flying limbs and whatnot. But still, the noises were loud and grotesque and I took him upstairs halfway through even though he showed no sign of being bothered. 
-Nail salon: every so often Wes's nails get long and he will start scratching himself in the course of his random flailing. Today I had to cut his little nails. I hate doing this because the field is so little and the task tedious, not to mention the pain (mine, not his--he doesn't seem to be too bothered) of accidentally nicking his little fingers, which I have done before. I used a baby nail clipper, but it was still a delicate operation that had to be performed while he was sleeping. As he was lying there asleep, he conveniently held out his fat little paws with the palms down and fingers spread apart. Thanks buddy.

Look how fat I am

I'm real fat and I don't care.

Riding with Daddy in the Ergo

New Today...

-He almost rolled over! Wes was on his belly and rolled onto his side. He was teetering there for a moment, almost about to flip over, but he lost momentum and got frustrated. I reluctantly nudged him back onto his back. Next time, buddy.
-He has discovered the deliciousness of his fingers and thumb and sometimes his whole fist. Today he was sucking loudly on his balled up fist. It was right after he ate, so I think he was doing it for entertaining/amusement purposes only.
-First whale shark (largest fish in the world, look it up): we went to the Georgia Aquarium. All the critters were totally amazing. We saw the dolphin show and it blew me away. Very talented dolphins they have there. Wes unfortunately breastfed through the dolphin show and then slept through the rest of the wonderment. Next time, buddy.

Cousins out to breakfast

New today...

-Took a bottle with great success! He gulped down two oz in two minutes and then immediately started hankering for even more milk.
-Briefly grabbed his feet! Probably by accident
-Had some more time hanging with Cousin Ada. They were remarkably chill and happy together on the play mat, though I can't say they were very interactive. At least they weren't until Ada started licking Wes's hand as it was grazing her mouth.
-New discovery: Wes's little feet smell like...well...feet. They have a milder, cute baby version of that pungent sweaty foot odor that adult feet have, despite the fact that he doesn't wear shoes nor does he walk. Until Stevo pointed it out the other day, I had assumed that his feet had that sweet baby smell like the rest of him does.
-First size 3-6 month clothing: the gray jumpsuit he is wearing below is still a little big but it more or less fits. Geez. When he lays down and his belly spreads out, his paunch is nothing short of magisterial.

Cousins havin' fun:

Love affair with Acid Turtle

New Today...

-BIG FAT LEGS: thigh rolls, cellulite, dimples instead of knees..his little legs have gotten dramatically fatter over the past few days.
-Gummy smiles: They're getting bigger and more predictable. However, they are still kind of random. He may smile at me when I smile at him, or, more frequently, he will smile at some secret inner joke to which only he knows the punchline. Or he will moon over The Abomination with uncontrollable glee.
-First Mommy Walk: Wes has been to Mommy and Me at home a few times but hasn't ever been to a gathering of moms walking until today. We joined my sister and her baby on a group date with her birthing class buddies and their little ones. It was a high-dollar stroller round up. I compared Wes in size to a baby just one week younger than him who weighed more. But that baby was all long and lanky, so Wes still won the Fat Derby.
-Sucking his fingers: He has started doing this when frantically hungry. Hasn't found his thumb in a durable way yet.
-Pooping successfully: He's started to get a lot better at coordinating his efforts. This has resulted in some famously busy pampers.

Grandparents galore

Love affair with The Abomination

Out on the town

With Auntie Rachel

Uncle Stevo

Dancing to Taylor Swift

Cousins