Right now Wes is snoozing, sprawled out on our bed while Stevo is at work. He's all chubby cheeks and fat arms and frog legs, making his little sighing noises. Occasionally he silently scrunches his face, whinges momentarily, and then relaxes back into his former repose. Right now, his job is being a baby and he's damn good at it. Frankly, it is okay with me if he keeps it up. But I do sometimes wonder what he will be like as a toddler, a preschooler and..an adult? (That will never happen. Until 20 years from now when hopefully it does.) What will he say when his cute little coos turn into words? Will he always be sweet and mellow?
When you look at baby clothes, a lot of them are painted with the aspirations of their parents. "Daddy's little quarterback." "Mommy's All-Star." I intentionally avoided those clothes, not only because they are usually hideous, but because I don't want him to feel pushed towards anything in particular. I don't want him to be a doctor. But I don't NOT want him to be a doctor. I want him to be a loving, decent person. He chooses the rest. The last thing I want is for him to do something only because he is looking for our approval.
I found particular resonance with this quote from this blog entry:"What I wish for them is that they be independent in adulthood and have sustaining relationships with family and friends. The forms that could take are infinite. So far, so good."
The lady had ten kids, so she has probably figured a few things out along the way. Wes, know this: The ways we love you are infinite. While I don't want any part of choosing your path in life, it's already been one of the most wonderful joys of my life just to see the very beginning of that path. I can't wait to see what you become. (Except that I can. I can totally wait while you are being your chubby, sigh-y, sweet-smelling, lovey baby self. You keep on being yo baby self!!!). Love you.
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