Mommy went back to work today! It was not awesome. But it was not terrible. I was late to work because I didn't want to get ready for work because I was watching Wessy sit in his bouncy chair and grin at me. (Let's not even mention all the ugly-crying that happened yesterday.)
However, I did finally get out the door. It was just a half day (Thank you jeebus!) and it was surprisingly tolerable. I did miss Wes and I was incredibly excited to see him when I got home. He was a little milk-drunk and kind of indifferent. But so cute. He is my little dolly.
If I had my druthers, I would have a few more months of maternity leave and then go back part-time. Alas, residency programs are not cool with that. But, I figure, I know that being a stay-at-home parent is not the right choice for me long-term, so might as well go ahead and jump head first into the nasty American Working Mother Struggle so I can go ahead and start adapting.
I was very sad about going back to work, but not entirely because I was going to be away from Wes. Mainly I was sad that he is three months old already and that the beautiful, wonderful time that we had as a family while I was on leave was coming to an end. I KNOW we will still have beautiful, wonderful times in the future but I will always treasure the happy, confusing, painfully sweet moments we have shared since we brought Wes home. I want to suspend this time in amber (or maybe in a snowglobe) so that it will be preserved unchanged and I can come back to it in my memory whenever I want.
Wes, just know that the first three months of your life were so different from anything I've ever experienced before. Before you, I felt like I was often just struggling through my days, marking time, waiting for the weekend or a 6pm glass of wine or to relax and watch a TV show in the evening. I'm not sure how to describe it, but now I feel like I'm really living. My life feels better and nicer because you came home with us. So thank you for that.
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